Daddy's Arms

Whoa. Like whoa. I haven't blogged in a long...long...while...

I've been too busy shmoozin' with the Prodigal son. Anger towards God. Doubt about God. Confusion at God. Feelings of abandonment. The hurts during this period ran too deep.

I lost focus. I lost the ability to learn all my lessons. The ability God gave me to see everything as an analogy to learn from was gone.

A few months ago I stumbled into a situation. It didn't quite dawn on me how deep the message of it was until weeks after It happened.

So the story goes...

It was a week before Halloween. I had gone to my local Lowe's to buy some PVC pipe to make goggles for my Minion costume!

Be Doo! Be Doo!

I paid for my items, said my pleasantries to the cashier and started for the sliding doors. As I was walking out I noticed a little boy about 4 years old, adorable as they come, headed out the sliding doors towards the parking lot as well.

Sure that sounds pretty normal. Except this little boy had gigantic crocodile tears streaming from his face, no parent/adult/guardian in sight. In his little toddler crying-yelling-voice "Daddy! Daddy!!"

He was lost. He was confused. He was scared. He was lonely. He was afraid. Without his Daddy.

It was heartbreaking!

I bent down to his level to help guide him back into the safety of the store away from the dangers of a parking lot. A parking lot full of fast cars, flying shopping carts, and people who aren't paying attention. A parking lot where he could have been seriously injured.

Dad wasn't too far away and they were quickly reunited.

In a matter of seconds, the tears stopped. Dad picked him up, held him tight and kissed him on the cheek. Welcoming him with open arms. My favorite part of the entire situation is what came next.

What came out of  Dad's mouth so sincerely, so fluidly, so lovingly to his son.

"I missed you! I was so scared! I didn't know where you were!"

There was no correcting in a harsh tone:
"Don't you ever run away from me again!!"
"What did I tell you about wandering off!"
"You are in big trouble!"
"I told you not to walk away!"
"I'm going to punish you for this"

It was pure compassion. It was pure love. It was welcoming him back with wide open arms.

When this happened it brightened my day. I felt like I did my good deed. Helping a kid from being run over in the parking lot, and reuniting him with dad. I was a hero!

Never could I imagine how it would minister to my soul a few weeks later. How God would softly whisper into the cracks of my soul and remind me of that situation. Remind me that He loves me just in the way that Dad loved his little boy. Without condemnation. Without record of wrong. The love of Corinthians 13. That's how he loves ALL of us.

For the past while I was like that little boy.

I was lost. I was confused. I was scared. I was lonely. I was afraid. I was without my Daddy.

I was quickly on my way into a parking lot full of speeding cars. Life is funny in that way. Life, God, the Universe...it'ss funny, just as you are about to walk into destruction's path it has a way of correcting you.

I don't know what one thing did it. But one night I found myself in prayer, in worship, completely enveloped in the feeling of Love when the circumstances surrounding my life shouldn't have had me feeling Love in any capacity at all.

That little boy was the prodigal son.
I'm the prodigal son.
We are all the prodigal son.

And we are ALL so very very immeasurably LOVED.

And when we run away, God welcomes us back. With loving, open, grace-full, mercy-full, relentless love that is unmatched by anything on this planet.

^20-21 “When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’

^22-24 “But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.

-Luke 15:20-14 MSG

Jeremy Camp & Gangsta Rap Remix

...yeah, doesn't sound good to me either.
A lesson on noisy distractions

The weather has finally started to warm up and I am SO excited about that! Excited for windows down, music bumpin', drivin' down the road feelin' that good 'ole fresh air on my face!

So naturally, that's what I did last night. I went to Walgreen's to pick up this adorable picture I had printed of my first niece! I'm such a proud aunt!


 

Isn't she adorable!? Such a thinker already! I want to squish her cheeks now!!

 



 Now, where was I?
 
Oh yes, windows down, K-Love bumpin' on the stereo system, wind on my face.... I pull up to a red light and bring my car to a stop. A few seconds later, my car starts to shake!
Is it from an earthquake?
No.
Is a tornado coming?
No.
Is the Hulk shaking my car?!
No.
Is the girl who stopped next to me bumpin' her gangsta rap 20 times louder than I am bumpin' my Jesus tunes?
YES.

Jeremy Camp's "Walk by Faith" had just started to play on my radio, when I totally checked out. I started listening to this deafening music coming from the speaker's of the car next to me. I don't even know if I should call it music. It was NOISE. LOUD NOISE. I can be the nosy type, and I was  trying to listen to the lyrics of the song this girl was playing, trying to get a feel for what she was listening to. Trying to figure out what she hears in this music that makes it worth listening to. What emotions does this strike up for her? As my ear leaned closer to "the noise" my ear drew further away from "Walk by Faith". The louder the noise, the softer more distant "Walk by Faith" became.  I tried to focus back on "Walk by Faith" yet I still heard "the noise".  I tried to focus on both at the same time, that was impossible. Both of them mixed together, sounded like a jumbled up mess! If there is a word for a notch above noise....that's what that sounded like!

It was:

babble, bewailing,

boisterousness, clamor,

 clang, discord,

disquiet, fuss,

 jangle, tumult, turbulence.

(props to thesaurus.com)

 

IT WAS A HOT MESS.

 

And then ...in an instant....with "noise girl" still next to me...it was as if the whole world suddenly got quiet, not a decibel of sound to be heard, that really special place, where God speaks to you so softly.

 

That happened. My lesson happened. It clicked.

 

 

How often in our lives, do we let ourselves get distracted by "noise". How often, do we let "noise" pull our attention away from God? How often do we give our full attention to "noise" and miss out on what God has for us in that moment? How often do we try to make "noise" and "Walk by Faith" work together in perfect harmony, when we know it is just a hot mess?

 

The world we live in today is full of noise and it can be almost impossible to avoid sometimes. We have the noise of the media, calling girls to be a size 0 and be flawless to be considered beautiful. Leaving us to feel not good enough and unworthy. The noise of money and wealth as a measurement of success in our lives. The noise of a busy schedule distracting us from spending quality time with the Lord.

 

I've been completely distracted by noise the past few weeks. So distracted to where I just mentally gave up.

No desire to pray.

 No desire to talk to God.

 No desire to read the Bible.

So I didn't do any of them.

 

 I was zoned in and focused on the base bumpin' noise comin' out of a shaky car. (Really though, it's amazing I was actually listening to K-Love yesterday) I was focused on the laundry list of everything going wrong in my life. Focused on the stress. On the  to-do lists. Focused on past hurts. Focused on mean people. So focused on things that don't matter, I lost focus of the things that do.

 

This was my wake up call.

 

It's inevitable that this will happen. We are human and aren't perfect. Life is hard, we were promised that. Distractions and noise will definitely come. It's my prayer for you and for me that  in the moments we get distracted by "the noise", we are able to recognize them, have friends to gently keep us accountable and pray for us when we can't even pray for ourselves, and quickly turn our focus back to the truths of God. To also, not attempt to live in harmony with noise, to not be a lukewarm Christian. To love God with your whole heart, mind and soul (Luke 10:27). You'll never know what you might miss out on. Is it coincidental that I missed out on these specific lyrics, missed out on what I needed, missed out on what God was trying to tell me, when I was distracted by "the noise"....

 



 Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace

 

Nope. God's not coincidental, he is planned and deliberate.

"Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand" Psalm 37:24

In what ways have you been distracted by noise? What helps you to refocus on God's truth?