Daddy's Arms

Whoa. Like whoa. I haven't blogged in a long...long...while...

I've been too busy shmoozin' with the Prodigal son. Anger towards God. Doubt about God. Confusion at God. Feelings of abandonment. The hurts during this period ran too deep.

I lost focus. I lost the ability to learn all my lessons. The ability God gave me to see everything as an analogy to learn from was gone.

A few months ago I stumbled into a situation. It didn't quite dawn on me how deep the message of it was until weeks after It happened.

So the story goes...

It was a week before Halloween. I had gone to my local Lowe's to buy some PVC pipe to make goggles for my Minion costume!

Be Doo! Be Doo!

I paid for my items, said my pleasantries to the cashier and started for the sliding doors. As I was walking out I noticed a little boy about 4 years old, adorable as they come, headed out the sliding doors towards the parking lot as well.

Sure that sounds pretty normal. Except this little boy had gigantic crocodile tears streaming from his face, no parent/adult/guardian in sight. In his little toddler crying-yelling-voice "Daddy! Daddy!!"

He was lost. He was confused. He was scared. He was lonely. He was afraid. Without his Daddy.

It was heartbreaking!

I bent down to his level to help guide him back into the safety of the store away from the dangers of a parking lot. A parking lot full of fast cars, flying shopping carts, and people who aren't paying attention. A parking lot where he could have been seriously injured.

Dad wasn't too far away and they were quickly reunited.

In a matter of seconds, the tears stopped. Dad picked him up, held him tight and kissed him on the cheek. Welcoming him with open arms. My favorite part of the entire situation is what came next.

What came out of  Dad's mouth so sincerely, so fluidly, so lovingly to his son.

"I missed you! I was so scared! I didn't know where you were!"

There was no correcting in a harsh tone:
"Don't you ever run away from me again!!"
"What did I tell you about wandering off!"
"You are in big trouble!"
"I told you not to walk away!"
"I'm going to punish you for this"

It was pure compassion. It was pure love. It was welcoming him back with wide open arms.

When this happened it brightened my day. I felt like I did my good deed. Helping a kid from being run over in the parking lot, and reuniting him with dad. I was a hero!

Never could I imagine how it would minister to my soul a few weeks later. How God would softly whisper into the cracks of my soul and remind me of that situation. Remind me that He loves me just in the way that Dad loved his little boy. Without condemnation. Without record of wrong. The love of Corinthians 13. That's how he loves ALL of us.

For the past while I was like that little boy.

I was lost. I was confused. I was scared. I was lonely. I was afraid. I was without my Daddy.

I was quickly on my way into a parking lot full of speeding cars. Life is funny in that way. Life, God, the Universe...it'ss funny, just as you are about to walk into destruction's path it has a way of correcting you.

I don't know what one thing did it. But one night I found myself in prayer, in worship, completely enveloped in the feeling of Love when the circumstances surrounding my life shouldn't have had me feeling Love in any capacity at all.

That little boy was the prodigal son.
I'm the prodigal son.
We are all the prodigal son.

And we are ALL so very very immeasurably LOVED.

And when we run away, God welcomes us back. With loving, open, grace-full, mercy-full, relentless love that is unmatched by anything on this planet.

^20-21 “When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’

^22-24 “But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.

-Luke 15:20-14 MSG

Tim Tebow Crush - Turned Devotional

A lesson on the impact of your husband

Let me set a disclaimer right up front. Sometimes I'm a bit ridiculous. This post might seem a bit ridiculous. But that's God. :) He knows I'm entertained by ridiculousness and shows me little lessons through my ridiculousness. SO humor me. :)

TEBOWMANIA. TEBOWING. THE CHOSEN ONE.

I jumped on the bandwagon a little late. The first time I heard/saw anything on Tim Tebow was when I was at Lifeway Christian book store. I kept seeing this book on the shelf . He was obviously some upcoming football star given the glare thingys under his eyes (what are those darn things called anyway!?) I didn't understand. WHAT IS WITH THIS TIM TEBOW!? Every time I went in the store, there was the book STARING at me, GLARING at me. Finally one day I picked it up to give it a look (I mean, I felt like the book was stalking me! I needed to give it some attention I suppose!). Got a bit of his story and went on my way.

This was about the same time as the trade between the Broncos and Jets was occurring. TEBOW WAS EVERYWHERE. In the news, on the twitter, on the facebook, in the magazines. It's then when I started putting my CIA investigator hat on, and did some real research into this kid. He was genuine, he had a massive heart for Jesus and was not ashamed to proclaim it and shout it from the mountain tops! He loves his mom and family, is silly, and his character is unreal. The most attractive thing however is that he loved Jesus.  (I know, I know, let the ridiculousness begin!)

After watching interviews and other snipits of footage of this "Tim Tebow" I won't lie...a bit of a crush started to occur. (Extra Ridiculous)

It was then that I sensed a ridiculous change occurring in my life. I wanted to have a closer relationship with God, because I saw it in Tim. He inspired me. He's a leader, a leader I wanted to lead me. When I was starting to take a turn down a road I shouldn't, I thought, well that wouldn't be attractive to Tim. I wanted to store more scripture in my heart, thinking, well the girl Tim will eventually end up with will be able to lift him up in his times of distress, comfort him, and encourage him. I wanted to be that for him! (Ridiculosity {is that even a word}is off the meter by now!) I found myself drawing closer to God, because of this guy.

I'm not embarrassed of this happening. It showed me something, and taught me something very real.

These are the things I need to seek and that should be present in my husband, the man I will spend the rest of my life with, spend the rest of my life serving our God with, growing with, and loving.

My husband needs to be a leader. One that encourages and doesn't make me stumble. One that has the same boundaries I do before we are married. Will help me stay pure. I've learned that I can start preparing myself to be the wife the Lord has called me to be. To pray for my future husband everyday, to discover ways to encourage men and be a loving wife when that day comes. I've learned that I need to be me, I'm goofy and I don't need to lock that part of me in a box to fit with someone. I am exactly the way God made me and I should be myself.

The biggest lesson learned. The biggest argument someone might raise is "Well you shouldn't want to do all those things for SOMEONE, you should want to do them for THE ONE. To draw close to God...because He is the Lord, not because of some guy". I know. I get it.  The biggest lesson is that I should crave, pray that I have the strength, to do the right thing and be a loving Christian for Jesus solely because I love Jesus, EVERYTHING should be for Him, and His Word promises that He will give me the desires of my heart.

I do wish this Tim Tebow character was just Joe Schmo down the street. :/

So Mr.Tebow. I will probably never meet you, but my brother, I will see you in Heaven one day, and I thank you. Thank you for being a rolemodel to so many, and thank you for unknowingly helping God teach me an invaluable lesson.

And that my dear friends, is how a silly crush on a football celebrity turned into a devotional for me.

Christians are Super Humans!

A vent.

I've recently been reminded that as a Christian, I am indeed a perfect super human!!!! I have perfect love. Am completely forgiving. I show grace and mercy to all. And would you believe that I don't sin!?

...well that's what some people think. And when you aren't a Jesus clone, when you miss the mark of perfection you are marked-
a hypocrite
a poor Christian
a poor excuse for a human being
a selfish individual
no better than scum on the bottom of a shoe

Why yes, you who marks, you are correct. I'm not perfect, because I'm not Jesus. He is the ONLY human that can claim that.

I truly wish that people didn't expect me to be Jesus. Expect perfection out of those that seek His face.  As a Christian, my number one priority is to love God and seek His will in all I do. End of story.

It doesn't mean that I will always succeed. It doesn't mean I'm perfect or trying to be. It doesn't mean I don't sin. It doesn't mean I always make the right choice. And I don't claim any of those things either.

I wear one mark. It's the only mark I will acknowledge by the only One authorized to mark a person.

I wear the mark of LOVED from our maker.
A forever love that includes sweet mercy, unending forgiveness, and so much more.

Your marks don't hurt me. I already know I'm not perfect. :)