Daddy's Arms

Whoa. Like whoa. I haven't blogged in a long...long...while...

I've been too busy shmoozin' with the Prodigal son. Anger towards God. Doubt about God. Confusion at God. Feelings of abandonment. The hurts during this period ran too deep.

I lost focus. I lost the ability to learn all my lessons. The ability God gave me to see everything as an analogy to learn from was gone.

A few months ago I stumbled into a situation. It didn't quite dawn on me how deep the message of it was until weeks after It happened.

So the story goes...

It was a week before Halloween. I had gone to my local Lowe's to buy some PVC pipe to make goggles for my Minion costume!

Be Doo! Be Doo!

I paid for my items, said my pleasantries to the cashier and started for the sliding doors. As I was walking out I noticed a little boy about 4 years old, adorable as they come, headed out the sliding doors towards the parking lot as well.

Sure that sounds pretty normal. Except this little boy had gigantic crocodile tears streaming from his face, no parent/adult/guardian in sight. In his little toddler crying-yelling-voice "Daddy! Daddy!!"

He was lost. He was confused. He was scared. He was lonely. He was afraid. Without his Daddy.

It was heartbreaking!

I bent down to his level to help guide him back into the safety of the store away from the dangers of a parking lot. A parking lot full of fast cars, flying shopping carts, and people who aren't paying attention. A parking lot where he could have been seriously injured.

Dad wasn't too far away and they were quickly reunited.

In a matter of seconds, the tears stopped. Dad picked him up, held him tight and kissed him on the cheek. Welcoming him with open arms. My favorite part of the entire situation is what came next.

What came out of  Dad's mouth so sincerely, so fluidly, so lovingly to his son.

"I missed you! I was so scared! I didn't know where you were!"

There was no correcting in a harsh tone:
"Don't you ever run away from me again!!"
"What did I tell you about wandering off!"
"You are in big trouble!"
"I told you not to walk away!"
"I'm going to punish you for this"

It was pure compassion. It was pure love. It was welcoming him back with wide open arms.

When this happened it brightened my day. I felt like I did my good deed. Helping a kid from being run over in the parking lot, and reuniting him with dad. I was a hero!

Never could I imagine how it would minister to my soul a few weeks later. How God would softly whisper into the cracks of my soul and remind me of that situation. Remind me that He loves me just in the way that Dad loved his little boy. Without condemnation. Without record of wrong. The love of Corinthians 13. That's how he loves ALL of us.

For the past while I was like that little boy.

I was lost. I was confused. I was scared. I was lonely. I was afraid. I was without my Daddy.

I was quickly on my way into a parking lot full of speeding cars. Life is funny in that way. Life, God, the Universe...it'ss funny, just as you are about to walk into destruction's path it has a way of correcting you.

I don't know what one thing did it. But one night I found myself in prayer, in worship, completely enveloped in the feeling of Love when the circumstances surrounding my life shouldn't have had me feeling Love in any capacity at all.

That little boy was the prodigal son.
I'm the prodigal son.
We are all the prodigal son.

And we are ALL so very very immeasurably LOVED.

And when we run away, God welcomes us back. With loving, open, grace-full, mercy-full, relentless love that is unmatched by anything on this planet.

^20-21 “When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’

^22-24 “But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.

-Luke 15:20-14 MSG

You are never helpless to others

....You can always Pray
A lesson on helping others in situtations when you tangibly can't

I have a horrid, wretched condition. I want to help EVERYONE. I want to make their sadness go away. I want to dissolve their pain. I want help. I want to serve.

Sometimes, due to situations completely out of our control, this is absolutely impossible to do. It's in times like these my heart breaks and it make me so angry. I fell so utterly helpless, useless, defeated and in a heart that is satisfied by helping others, this feeling is the worst.

This past week I found myself in this exact situation.

I was on a flight from Alexandria, LA (Shoutout to the best friend Shira! We had a blast and a half!). The flight would land in Dallas where everyone would head in numerous directions to catch their connections to places all over the world. Our flight left Alexandria a few minutes later than expected which created an issue for those that had minimal flight layovers to begin with.

Upon landing in Dallas, I start to hear the cries of worry from the affected passengers

"I've got 20 minutes..."

"I only have 10 minutes"

"My flight is boarding right now!"

The plane wasn't even pulled up to the terminal all the way yet. We still had to unload! Oh how I wish that I could have stopped time to allow all of these passengers to get to their connecting flights. That, however, was not a possibility.

In my urge to want to help, and not being able to, my anxiety started to grow. I was trying to think of SOMETHING, ANTYHING I could do to help! I started looking on my American Airline app for the destinations I was hearing - Las Vegas - Los Angeles - Others I can't remember. I was hoping to find delays so I could tell these people and their minds would rest and be at ease.

Everything, of course, was running perfectly on time.

I was at a loss. As we started to deboard the plane, I sat in my chair, defeated, and let those that needed to quickly get to their connecting terminal go before me. It was the least I could do.

As they got off the plane I was not too far behind them. I could see them, as soon as they got out of the tight confines of the airplane, they grasped their belongings tight and started to run. My heart still hurting....a soft whisper came across my heart...

Pray....
When you can do nothing else... you can always...
Pray....

So I did. I prayed that they would make their connections, and if not that they would reach their dstinations in ample time for whatever their purpose was for traveling there.

And peace came.

I'll never know the outcome. Whether they made it or not.

But what I do know, is that although some things are out of our control, disease, suffering, job loss, whatever it might be, there is ehelpful tool that is never out of our reach. That's praying. Asking our God to intervene on our behalfs.

And in my opinion, that's probably the most helpful tool anyway.