...to give you a future and a hope.

A lesson on HOPE.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

This verse has been there to lift my spirits so many times in life. In those times when I feel like I was going no where, when things I desired would never materialize. It reminded me that I'm in God's hands and He has a plan...a great and marvelous one at that! Hope. You can internalize it and know what it means. But when I sat here and tried to think of how to put Hope into words...I couldn't.

So...I headed over to Dictionary.com! Who offered up a beautiful definition:


n. 1.The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

So you wonder...where's the lesson? What did God show you?

Recently, after this breakup of mine (which I should have gotten over a long time ago! Ridiculous on my part...but that's neither here nor there) I started questioning if I really was worth loving. If I was good enough for anyone. (I know, silly again, I'm more than good enough...especially for Jesus! I'm perfect to Him and that's the only Man that really matters.) I have this image of this man whom I dearly love already. This man who I will spend the rest of my life with. However, sometimes I think it's just a blended version of fairytale princes from all the stories I've read, movies I've seen in my life, and this image is merely that...just a figment of my imagination. I truly lost hope for any decent guys being left in the world (no offense to you good guys).

UNTIL!!! ENTER GOD

Last weekend some friends wanted to hang out. Dinner and Bowling, sounds fun to me! The group turned out to be only 2 other guys and myself. One of the guys couldn't make it to dinner, but was going to meet us at the bowling alley. The remaining guy first made sure that I would be comfortable with just me and him at dinner and that it wouldn't be awkward for me. Which of course is cool. Much like the brotherly type. No worries.

After he let me choose where we were going to eat, Plaza Azteca!!! YUM!, he swang by and picked me up at my apartment. When we walked from the car to the restaurant, he didn't walk in front of me like he was better than me and made me run to catch up, or behind me like he didn't want to be seen with me. But right alongside me. Even the little things matter!!! He opened the door to the restaurant, when the waitress seated us he allowed me to walk first and followed after. He prayed for our meal, and that we would have good conversation. Which we did, getting to know you banter back and forth. Quite pleasant. After we paid., we walked back to the car and he opened the car door for me. THE CAR DOOR!!!! I can't remember the last time that happened. And he was simply doing this because he is a gentleman. Let me make it clear, that this was not a date in the slightest! We got to the bowling alley and met our other friend there, bowled a few games and had an absolute BLAST! After bowling and dropping our friend off we headed back to my apartment to drop me off. By now it was 9:30 and we were both pretty awake and wired. I didn't know of anything else to do. He even says, "You know I'm not trying to make you go home" haha. Again, I hadn't a clue what else to do. We pass by a Starbucks and he says "Do you drink coffee??" PAH Do I drink coffee!? PSHYA! So we decided to go to starbucks, grab a coffee, and just sit and chit chat. It was the most pleasant easy going conversation,sitting in the comfy chair of starbucks sipping coffee. When we left he again opened my car door for me, as he did everytime I got in the car. And drove me home.

So ended the best non-date ever.

That night, God showed me, that there are Godly men in this world. Respectable men, men who will treat a lady like a lady because it's the right thing to do. Not because they want something in return. Gentlemen. Gentlemen worth loving. Gentlemen worth marrying. And never will I settle for less again.

I'm so glad He reminded me, because I had almost given up hope. I rest in God's hope that the Husband I want will be had and it will turn out for the best. :)

(And I really hope if the guy this is about ever reads this, he doesn't think it's awkward!!! I APPRECIATE YOU! Thank you-I really needed that night and to be treated so nicely)

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I don't really know if I've learned a lesson. The lesson is still in the process of being learned.
But I do know, I just needed to voice..something..I don't know what.

I wrote this post many many months ago. About a guy in my church community group. Who I didn't really have eyes towards, because why would I have eyes towards someone that would probably not be interested in me?----Then the feelings started coming anyway. After hour long coffee shop talks, games of UNO, conversations in theater parking lots until all the employees left. I was starting to see this person in a whole new light. Until one night a conversation that I didn't think would ever happen...the "I 'm interested in you" conversation....which, minus all the details inbetween eventually after getting to know each other on a different level, prayer, and seeking scripture...he became "My boyfriend".

Then within the past couple days, just a couple shorts months later....he became "My ex-boyfriend"...not because of some horrible incident, or some huge indifference in our personalities, or me realizing he is someone different than I thought. I don't know.

Whatever it was. It was all me. My choice.

But I do know, I prayed about it, I sought scripture. It's what the Lord had me to do. I don't understand, why 2 months ago it was a different story. I thought the Lord was unchanging? Unless of course I'm supposed to be learning something through all this....which I am not. Or it has yet to be revealed.

I do know that he is one of the most incredible men I've met, completely selfless, a true gentleman, and I miss being withalready....but have to rest in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disasted, to give you a future and a hope.