Surprises for All!

A lesson on choosing God's way and not our own way.

Not too long ago I had a couple of visitors come to see me in VA. I love to surprise people, so naturally I had set up several surprises.  As well as surprising people, I tend to be an overly scheduled and organized trip planner. I had everything set, a backstage walk through of the acquarium, a birthday stay in a 4-star hotel in the middle of Washington D.C, horseback riding. Of course, in planning, I had to work around the availability of all the surprises. Luckily, I had everything worked out and was SUPER thrilled to get to share these fun things with my guests!

Until.....

(INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE)

Plans changed.  My visitor's changed the day they wanted to go to DC from the scheduled day to an alternate day. I understand the intent of their change. There was a marathon in DC the day they wanted to go, and one of my guest's dad was running in the marathon. They had hopes, regardless of anything I said, that their dad would have time to say hello.

They were completely adamant about going to DC on this alternate day. And for purposes of my point, they were choosing their own way.

So knowing, this week was all about them, I obliged to the day they wanted knowing all plans would have to be changed.

By going on the day they chose, we basically were not able to experience any of the surprises I had planned due to the different venue's schedules. (Yes, to no avail I did try to reschedule and make things work) Nor were they able to meet up with the dad like they had imagined due to his tight schedule.

It didn't dawn on me until a few weeks later. I was replaying the events of the whole week. Bummed that I didn't get to surprise them. Then it clicked. It made me think of God's relationship with us. God has amazing things beyond our imagination planned for us if we choose His way. It's when we venture off onto our own path, that we head down a path of destruction, out of God's will, and out of the many blessings and surprises He has for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

 -Jeremiah 29:11

 

I don't say all this to say that their trip was a wash. We still found things to do and had a good time during their visit. However, little will they ever know, about the more grand plans that were set before them.

Thank You

A lesson on the Small Things

I'm 26. In my 26 years of life, I have been so blessed to have experienced real life angels as I like to call them. Strangers doing things they might find ordinary, but to me they were extraordinary--the presence of God. I've been thinking of several of these people the past few months. I can vividly picture every single one of them. Where I was when I encountered them. I wish I could somehow reach out to them, tell them Thank You for being a bright spot in my dark times.
I have no idea who some of these people are.
No idea where life has taken them.
For someone who likes to show her appreciation and thanks, it pangs me I cannot do so for these individuals.

So I dedicate this blog to these angels. These people who are still able to warm my heart to this day. I wish I could remember all of them. I pray that I allow God to use me in the way He has used these people, and to never hesitate to lift someone up or kneel down to someone in need. Take that extra second to care for my neighbors.

Here are some of the amazing strangers that have entered my life and the stories behind them:

Falls Creek, 2005ish

This particular year I had gone to Falls Creek (A Christian summer camp in the boondocks of Oklahoma) as a sponsor. Things at home weren't that great. I was having a hard time dealing with a lot of hurt, pain, loneliness, feelings of being inadequate, and not loved. Most importantly I felt very alone. After the evening worship service we had some free time before we had to be in the cabin. By this time the stars had come out and it was pretty dark most everywhere. I decided to go sit on a ledge near the outdoor tabernacle. I just wanted to be alone. I was exhausted from putting on my happy face in front of every. I needed to silently disappear for a second. So I did. I sat there on a wooden ledge of some sort. A ledge that would prohibit people from falling down the side of the mountain. I looked out at the stars. The trees. The rolling hills in the distance. Feeling SO. ALONE. The pit in my stomach unbearable. I noticed a group of kids not far from me, laughing having a good time. I looked over -envious-, then continued to look into the vast glory of nature in front of me.

A short while went by. All of a sudden I noticed a shadow coming towards me. This young man just plopped down right beside me like he was my best friend. With such confidence he didn't feel like he needed to ask if he was interrupting or introduce himseld he simplu blurted out "What are you lookin' at?"...so we small talked for a moment. I don't remember how we got to the next point(I think he might have asked if I was okay or something)....but, before I know it I'm spilling my life to him and crying like a big baby.

Before I know it,  this stranger kid, who left his laughing friends, lifted his hand ever so gently and wiped the tears falling down my face with his own hand. LIKE IN A MOVIE!? No one before, and no one since has done so. He sat there with me, in silence until I was ok. Composed. Not sobbing. For a moment, I didn't feel so alone. He muttered something encouraging then gave me a hug and went back with his friends.

My mind was blown. That single moment in my life has remained with me, and out of all the strangers in my life, he would be the one my thanks goes out to the most.

I needed that more than air at that moment in my life.  Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I can only pray that he continues to use his gift of empathy with others in his life.

Dusty's Jewlery Store, Sometime during college

At around the same point in life dealing with the same struggles I found myself in Dusty's. Dusty's is a girl's best friend. A store full of cheap jewelry from wall to wall in every color and style. I had gone in to just browse. As I was looking at a wall of earrings I noticed a little girl, around age 4-5, and her grandmother walk in. The grandmother greeted some of her friends, and said to the little girl "Are you going to give so-n-so a hug?" this beautiful little girl got a huge smile on her face and hugged her grandmother's friends. This all took place around 20 feet from me. I glanced over gave an "Oh that was cute" smirk, and continued to browse.  In my lil depressed head of mine I thought to myself  "I could really use a hug right now too". Almost instantaneously, this little girl who I've never seen in my life for no reason what so ever RUNS to me while exclaiming to her Grandmother "I'm gonna hug her too!". She wrapped her arms so tight around my legs and gave me the best hug ever!

I needed that hug. I needed that hug more than anything in that moment. I wish that I could tell her that. I wish that I could tell her God used her in a big way that day! I pray that she never feels the pain that I felt which she helped to soothe.

I have so many more people to thank, my camp counselor at Centrifuge who told me I was beautiful and was so nice and genuine towards me, the "regular" at Atlanta Bread Company where I worked in college who gave me $20 bucks before he moved to Alaska for work and told me to have a nice dinner and that he appreciated me, the little girl who randomly came up to me at a park one day and asked me if I was ok, and all the others I can't think of right now.

 Thank You.

I'll never forget you.

I hope I can make an impact on stranger's lives like you have made on mine.

You are never helpless to others

....You can always Pray
A lesson on helping others in situtations when you tangibly can't

I have a horrid, wretched condition. I want to help EVERYONE. I want to make their sadness go away. I want to dissolve their pain. I want help. I want to serve.

Sometimes, due to situations completely out of our control, this is absolutely impossible to do. It's in times like these my heart breaks and it make me so angry. I fell so utterly helpless, useless, defeated and in a heart that is satisfied by helping others, this feeling is the worst.

This past week I found myself in this exact situation.

I was on a flight from Alexandria, LA (Shoutout to the best friend Shira! We had a blast and a half!). The flight would land in Dallas where everyone would head in numerous directions to catch their connections to places all over the world. Our flight left Alexandria a few minutes later than expected which created an issue for those that had minimal flight layovers to begin with.

Upon landing in Dallas, I start to hear the cries of worry from the affected passengers

"I've got 20 minutes..."

"I only have 10 minutes"

"My flight is boarding right now!"

The plane wasn't even pulled up to the terminal all the way yet. We still had to unload! Oh how I wish that I could have stopped time to allow all of these passengers to get to their connecting flights. That, however, was not a possibility.

In my urge to want to help, and not being able to, my anxiety started to grow. I was trying to think of SOMETHING, ANTYHING I could do to help! I started looking on my American Airline app for the destinations I was hearing - Las Vegas - Los Angeles - Others I can't remember. I was hoping to find delays so I could tell these people and their minds would rest and be at ease.

Everything, of course, was running perfectly on time.

I was at a loss. As we started to deboard the plane, I sat in my chair, defeated, and let those that needed to quickly get to their connecting terminal go before me. It was the least I could do.

As they got off the plane I was not too far behind them. I could see them, as soon as they got out of the tight confines of the airplane, they grasped their belongings tight and started to run. My heart still hurting....a soft whisper came across my heart...

Pray....
When you can do nothing else... you can always...
Pray....

So I did. I prayed that they would make their connections, and if not that they would reach their dstinations in ample time for whatever their purpose was for traveling there.

And peace came.

I'll never know the outcome. Whether they made it or not.

But what I do know, is that although some things are out of our control, disease, suffering, job loss, whatever it might be, there is ehelpful tool that is never out of our reach. That's praying. Asking our God to intervene on our behalfs.

And in my opinion, that's probably the most helpful tool anyway.

Tim Tebow Crush - Turned Devotional

A lesson on the impact of your husband

Let me set a disclaimer right up front. Sometimes I'm a bit ridiculous. This post might seem a bit ridiculous. But that's God. :) He knows I'm entertained by ridiculousness and shows me little lessons through my ridiculousness. SO humor me. :)

TEBOWMANIA. TEBOWING. THE CHOSEN ONE.

I jumped on the bandwagon a little late. The first time I heard/saw anything on Tim Tebow was when I was at Lifeway Christian book store. I kept seeing this book on the shelf . He was obviously some upcoming football star given the glare thingys under his eyes (what are those darn things called anyway!?) I didn't understand. WHAT IS WITH THIS TIM TEBOW!? Every time I went in the store, there was the book STARING at me, GLARING at me. Finally one day I picked it up to give it a look (I mean, I felt like the book was stalking me! I needed to give it some attention I suppose!). Got a bit of his story and went on my way.

This was about the same time as the trade between the Broncos and Jets was occurring. TEBOW WAS EVERYWHERE. In the news, on the twitter, on the facebook, in the magazines. It's then when I started putting my CIA investigator hat on, and did some real research into this kid. He was genuine, he had a massive heart for Jesus and was not ashamed to proclaim it and shout it from the mountain tops! He loves his mom and family, is silly, and his character is unreal. The most attractive thing however is that he loved Jesus.  (I know, I know, let the ridiculousness begin!)

After watching interviews and other snipits of footage of this "Tim Tebow" I won't lie...a bit of a crush started to occur. (Extra Ridiculous)

It was then that I sensed a ridiculous change occurring in my life. I wanted to have a closer relationship with God, because I saw it in Tim. He inspired me. He's a leader, a leader I wanted to lead me. When I was starting to take a turn down a road I shouldn't, I thought, well that wouldn't be attractive to Tim. I wanted to store more scripture in my heart, thinking, well the girl Tim will eventually end up with will be able to lift him up in his times of distress, comfort him, and encourage him. I wanted to be that for him! (Ridiculosity {is that even a word}is off the meter by now!) I found myself drawing closer to God, because of this guy.

I'm not embarrassed of this happening. It showed me something, and taught me something very real.

These are the things I need to seek and that should be present in my husband, the man I will spend the rest of my life with, spend the rest of my life serving our God with, growing with, and loving.

My husband needs to be a leader. One that encourages and doesn't make me stumble. One that has the same boundaries I do before we are married. Will help me stay pure. I've learned that I can start preparing myself to be the wife the Lord has called me to be. To pray for my future husband everyday, to discover ways to encourage men and be a loving wife when that day comes. I've learned that I need to be me, I'm goofy and I don't need to lock that part of me in a box to fit with someone. I am exactly the way God made me and I should be myself.

The biggest lesson learned. The biggest argument someone might raise is "Well you shouldn't want to do all those things for SOMEONE, you should want to do them for THE ONE. To draw close to God...because He is the Lord, not because of some guy". I know. I get it.  The biggest lesson is that I should crave, pray that I have the strength, to do the right thing and be a loving Christian for Jesus solely because I love Jesus, EVERYTHING should be for Him, and His Word promises that He will give me the desires of my heart.

I do wish this Tim Tebow character was just Joe Schmo down the street. :/

So Mr.Tebow. I will probably never meet you, but my brother, I will see you in Heaven one day, and I thank you. Thank you for being a rolemodel to so many, and thank you for unknowingly helping God teach me an invaluable lesson.

And that my dear friends, is how a silly crush on a football celebrity turned into a devotional for me.

Christians are Super Humans!

A vent.

I've recently been reminded that as a Christian, I am indeed a perfect super human!!!! I have perfect love. Am completely forgiving. I show grace and mercy to all. And would you believe that I don't sin!?

...well that's what some people think. And when you aren't a Jesus clone, when you miss the mark of perfection you are marked-
a hypocrite
a poor Christian
a poor excuse for a human being
a selfish individual
no better than scum on the bottom of a shoe

Why yes, you who marks, you are correct. I'm not perfect, because I'm not Jesus. He is the ONLY human that can claim that.

I truly wish that people didn't expect me to be Jesus. Expect perfection out of those that seek His face.  As a Christian, my number one priority is to love God and seek His will in all I do. End of story.

It doesn't mean that I will always succeed. It doesn't mean I'm perfect or trying to be. It doesn't mean I don't sin. It doesn't mean I always make the right choice. And I don't claim any of those things either.

I wear one mark. It's the only mark I will acknowledge by the only One authorized to mark a person.

I wear the mark of LOVED from our maker.
A forever love that includes sweet mercy, unending forgiveness, and so much more.

Your marks don't hurt me. I already know I'm not perfect. :)

Judge Judy

A lesson on passing  judgment

I’ve been anticipating May for quite some time now. Mainly because May meant my cell phone contract was up and I would be able to renew and therefore get an upgrade. I desperately needed this upgrade as I had broken my last smart phone and was using a friend’s old iPhone.  Very thankful for that phone, but it was slower than molasses.

The time finally came and I headed to the store for the long anticipated phone upgrade! I was waiting patiently in line for the next customer service representative to help me.  There were three. The first guy seemed to run the place and maybe was the manager, he looked around mid twenties. The second, a female, although I had trouble deciding that since her hair was shaved like a guys. Then there was the third rep who was a normal looking girl, maybe early twenties.

I decided that I DID NOT want to be helped by customer rep #2. This came from a mere judgement of her appearance.

I started calculating who would be the service customer service rep to help me. I tried to guess where they were at in their transactions with their current customers and who the two guys in front of me would be helped by.  According to my calculations, I was pretty positive that I wouldn’t have to be helped by the girl that gave me the heebie jeebies.

It came down to it, and heebie jeebie girl actually disappeared. That eased my soul. I let out a sign of relief. Well if she’s not here she won’t have to help me. It was at this same moment that the Lord whispered to me gently as He often does, about how judgemental I was being.

I stopped.
 Recognized.
 Was utterly Shocked.
As I try my best to not ever judge anyone. I couldn't believe myself and was highly ashamed.

Lo and behold it was my turn, ole’ girl was still missing but just my luck would have it  the customer service guy told me I could have a seat at her station and she’d be right with me.

Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinge. UGH. GO FIGURE.

Then, as usual, the Lord hit me on the head.

This young lady , who I was so hesitant to have help me, who I had judged, who I had labeled, who I had cast a stone at, this girl was the most pleasant and sweetest girl. She was hilarious and  so helpful throughout the whole transaction.  After everything was said and done and I was set up with my new phone I thought to myself how I was glad that she was the one that helped me. I was honored to have had her help me. If I had it all over to do again, I wouldn’t want either of the other representatives to have helped me, only her.

I felt so ashamed of myself. So disgusted with myself that I would think such thoughts.  Judge someone just by their appearance.

Judge anyone at all. It's not my place.

Am I magically cured from being judgemental? No, I'm human. I'm sure I will do it plenty more times in life. However, I will remember this lesson and nip any judgemental thoughts in the bud more quickly.

It's More

A lesson in living the life.
I was just thinking the other day about walking the walk, not being a casual Christian and these thoughts came to me. I think so often it's so easy to get carried away with the image of being a Christian, with all the works, and it's SO much more than that! So I jotted some words down. Here they are:

It's more.

It's more than just praying for your food.
More than wearing a Christian T-shirt
Than saying God Bless you
Saying I'll pray for you

It's more than going to church on Sunday
Raising your hands while you sing
It's more than a weekened retreat
More than attending a bible study

It's more than being a good person
Trying to do the right thing
More than hanging a cross on your wall

It's more than not using profanity
It's more than not lying, cheating, stealing, or committing adultery

What it is . Is complete surrender. Surrender of your heart, mind, and soul

It's living by the Word, loving Jesus, letting it ooze out of your pores. It's letting God take total control of your thoughts, actions and words. Fighting the flesh and letting God make your decisions and lead you.

It's letting Love come in, take control, and letting it back out

"Whoever wants to be my Disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me daily"

-Luke 9:23

1,000 Situps Might Give You Abs

A lesson on enduring through trials

I've been learning a lot of lessons lately. The hard way. It was never promised to us, as Christians, that life will be perfect. That everything would go our way and we would have no hardships. That friendships would be perfect, families wouldn't fall apart, disease wouldn't take lives, there would be no financial troubles. It was actually said that we would face persecution and trials. John 16:33 says:

"I told you these things so that you would have peace in me. In this world you WILL have trouble. But be brave! I have overcome the world!"

I imagine someone full of energy and spunk holding a cardboard sign with BE BRAVE in glittery letters shouting this verse full of excitement as if they've just won the lottery.  The only desire I have is to punch them square in the face and throw their sign in the mud. Especially in my times of trouble. Yeah. I get it. Jesus overcame the world. But when things are hard, when life sucks, that truth is really hard to hold close to your heart. You want to give up. Retreat. The last thing I want to do is "be brave" and "have peace", even though that's what we are supposed to do.

It's HARD!!!! REALLY HARD!

The past few months my heart had been put through the ringer. An on again off again situation with a guy details aside, just made me feel worthless, not good enough, second class. I did not want to be brave, I did not want to have peace, I wanted a magical relationship. I didn't understand where the good in any of it could be. The purpose of this season.

Thinking back on it at this very moment I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, wishing I could go back in time and give myself a hug and say "You will come out of this stronger! I know it sucks and it hurts, but you will overcome! Be brave, don't lose hope."

As I was pondering life during a run last week it dawned on me. Persecution/trials they are like going to the gym and working out. Only a small percentage of human beings actually LIKE to workout. Let's not lie, it sucks sometimes. If you haven't done it in a while, it hurts. It hurts really bad. The pain doesn't just sting and go away. The pain lingers for a few days as your muscles become sore. You get sweaty and stinky, you might even injure yourself. I would also say that the percentage of people who regret a workout is very minimal, if that at all. You see, after we exercise the outcome is a healthier body. We are stronger, able to take on more physical things in the world. We look better, feel better. Those endorphins start flowing through our veins and we feel as if we can take over the world!!!

The reason why I laughed earlier this week, is because I laughed at my teeny tiny puny human brain. The brain that didn't see the positive outcome, the brain that wasn't 'peacful' and 'brave'. You see, I've since come out of my rut. I've learned alot from the situation. I've matured when it comes to dealing with relationships. I have a new perspective on the man God has for me. I'm closer to my Jesus than ever before. I'm actually grateful it occurred. It definitely was not fun to go through by any means, I will liken it to doing 1,000 sit ups in a row. However, if that's what it took to get me to where I am today, I would do it all over again. Sometimes it takes 1,000 sit ups to get a nice set of abs! And when those abs come, it's worth it! God's got our back! I love that.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.
 Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

- Psalm 37:23-24

Not enough time in the day. For all the words in my head.

I don't know if there is "a lesson" here, however, I got a text from my BFITWWW (Best Friend In The Whole Wide World) Shira yesterday, it read "Caught up on your blog...You need to keep writing!!". She is so right, the Lord is really showing me new things everyday and I haven't been disciplined enough to write them out for the whole wide world to see, and for me to reflect back on later. So, thanks to the push from my friend Shira, tonight...I write!

Seeing as how I'm playing Blog Catch-Up these will probably be out of order. I intend to get a lot pushed out the next couple days. I've got to take it slow though, so I'll just start with one experience at a time.

I'll start with the best run of my life!

My running life is on again off again. I build endurance up to run a good 4 miles, then I get lazy and lose it all, until I start back up again. Usually what pushes me back is when something emotional happens in life and I need someway to exert the issues at hand. Get the adrenaline pumpin', endorphins flowing!

My Park!

Recently, I've had such an event, so what have I started to do? RUN.

Right after work I've been going to one of my favorite places to run. It's an old Civil War battleground turned park. I love to run through and think about what literally took place there years ago, and after about one minute of serious thinking, I have more fun with it and pretend I'm Pocahontas running to see Grandmother Willow. (but shhhh don't tell anyone that!)

This past week I had a particulary AMAZING run. I would almost call it a romantic date with the Love of my Life, my Savior, my Jesus, my Lord. He knows how to make me smile. :)

I left with the most incredible high feeling so utterly and amazingly loved. It's times like these, that I can't comprehend while people don't believe He is real. Why people choose to not follow Him. I just don't get it. He is ever so present in my life I can't chalk it up to coincedince.

These stories, these experiences, this love shown to me, it's my testimony and I have to share it. So I will:

The park I go run too has a couple of bridges. The first bridge crosses a small body of water, it leads to the center of the "forest" where my running trails are. On this particular day when I showed up, there was not another single soul in sight (which is out of the ordinary). The weather was perfect, the sun was shining. I approached the bridge and this is what I saw:

I'd never seen so many birds lined up on the bridge like this before, on either side. I stood in awe for a moment. Still thinking how weird it was that no one else was here. I figured the birds would all fly away at once as soon as I stepped foot onto the bridge. But to my surprise they didn't!

As I started walking along the bridge, one by one, on each side as I approached the birds took flight.

It was the MOST amazing, beautiful things to walk through. If I could coordinate this for my wedding day, that'd be great! It was as if God sent these birds down to welcome me into His wilderness for my run. It was nothing less than magical and gave me goosebumps. So I tried to soak it up, and walked as slow as I could.

SIDE NOTE:

One of the gifts I feel God has given me is the Gift of having random thoughts. I love them, they make me feel like myself. But sometimes, they aren't there. Usually when I'm stressed out and thinking too much about serious things. Lately. They've been gone.

SIDE NOTE OVER

I continue on my run thinking, okay that was SUPER AWESOME, and not expecting much more. (little did I know, God doesn't just bring flowers when He comes to your door to pick you up!)

I start thanking God for nature and everything in it, that I'm able to love it and really enjoy it. I know some people HATE being outside, so I'm thankful I'm NOT one of those people. I start telling the Lord how I feel closest to Him when I'm outside, and how I want my wedding to be outdoors for that simple fact. Then a still small voice creeps into my head...

"..He went into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.."

OH.     MY.      GOSH JESUS WAS CLOSEST TO GOD IN NATURE TOOOOO!!!!!! That's where Jesud went to get away from it all, just like I do! Why had this never dawned on me before!? I was so excited to have my thoughts back! These revalations, these epiphanies! I suddenly wanted to go on a camping trip with Jesus. I wonder if he would like smores? Would he like his hotdog burnt like I do? Actually He probably wouldn't eat a hotdog. Maybe we could go find some wildberries to nibble on.

Unfortunately I've made a commitment to meet a friend and must stop now. However, I will be back to finish later! Stay tuned! It gets good! :D

Personal Notes to remind me of stuff later:

1. I've never seen the birds that way before and havent since then.