Remembering the Falls Creek Moment I remember every year at Easter.

A lesson on GRACE.

(I typed this on Friday, but am just now on Easter getting around to editing and posting. Thank you busy life)

On Good Friday I am reminded of the Sacrifice. The execution of a perfect man who did nothing wrong. Who was beat, mocked, laughed at. All so he could pay for everything I have done and will do wrong, so one day I will be made perfect in God’s eyes and therefore can be with Him eternally.

As a young adult it’s hard for me to grasp the concept of offering up your only son for the sins of the world. Partly because I don’t have one. To understand the idea of someone innocent taking the blame for you. Being shown grace. I understand what happened on the cross and why, but I don’t feel it.

 

Well I didn’t feel it.

It was a few years ago when I was dealing with lack of understanding in a lot of areas. I prayed that God would show me, help me to understand Grace, Love, and Mercy. It was in this time that the most incredible things happened and it all clicked for me. (Love and Mercy are another blog in themselves)



It was the summer of 2007 I believe. The youth group was making its yearly summer trek to Falls Creek in Davis, OK. The most amazing church camp ever. Settled in the middle of nowhere, where cellphone service is almost impossible. Surrounded by nothing but God’s beautiful creation. With an outdoor tabernacle to ensure you don’t escape the hot Oklahoma sun. I’d been to Falls Creek many times as a camper, but this was my first year as a sponsor.



Picture of the Devil's Bathtub I found online.
I don't know these people.



One of the most incredible beutiful places on the Falls Creek campus is the “Devils Bathtub”. The Devil’s Bathtub, is a natural spring nestled in the remote area of camp. It’s quite an adventure to even get there. Going down steep hills, walking along the forested path, pass the tree covered in years upon years of campers’ gum. But once you reach it. It is well worth it. The slippery rocks, the water you get to splash in.



There was a young camper named Katie. This was her first trip to Falls Creek, and she would have to leave early to go to cheercamp. I had told her about the Devil’s Bathtub and that before she left she HAD to go see it. I told her I would accompany her if she wanted.

The day before she was to leave she asked me if I would go with her. We corralled some other campers to go with us and started the journey in the blazing heat. Once we got there we splashed around and enjoyed the view.



We had taken our shoes off because the rocks were SO slippery. We had to be super careful. As we started to leave we were walking over the last few rocks. I was letting all the campers pass me to ensure that they all got across safely. Katie was the last camper to cross. I looked back at the Bathtub for one last look.

Then I looked back forward.



Just in enough time to see Katie fall. And scream the most hallowing scream I’ve ever heard.



I quickly bent down to her to make sure she was okay, and to help her up, when I noticed something quite strange. Something quite out of place.

Katie’s leg bone had poped out of the knee socket and was protruding out. There was no flesh wound, but her leg was very much distorted.



Something came about me that I didn’t even know I had in me. I went into this mother mode. I instructed one kid to not walk but RUN (yah, given the terrain that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do) to the medical building. I instructed the others to run to the cabin to tell the other adults. Then I started yelling at the Devil’s Bathtub Life Guard guy holding the radio, asking him why he was staring at us in disbelief instead of using his radio to call for help.



It was as if the whole world stood still. All the splashing, the laughter, the campers playing came to a halt and everyone’s attention was focused on this beautiful little girl with a contorted leg laying on wet rocks. I had her head cradled in my lap trying to make her as comfortable as possible.



As I kept talking to her and trying to keep her mind focused on something else, she was just crying, and screaming that it hurt so bad. I told her to squeeze my hand, and it must have hurt so bad she had no strength to even do that. So as I caressed her head hoping to give her some sort of comfort I started to sing to her the first thing that popped in my mind “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are graaay….” I couldn’t remember the rest, so Katie helped me remember and I even got a giggle out of her.

To this day, and I’m sure until the day I die, that song reminds me of her and that moment.



I was able to hold my compsure and be strong for Katie, until what seemed like forever… I finally heard the sirens of the ambulance coming down the mountainous terrain, and the rest of the adult sponsors racing towards us.

It wasn’t until everyone was huddled around us tending to Katie, her head still rested on my lap, that I had to turn my head as my strength broke and I started crying. I didn’t want her to see me cry, I wanted to be strong for her.



I was crying because I didn’t want her to hurt. I knew she needed to leave for cheercamp, and now she wouldn’t be able to. I felt like I should have gone in front of her and slipped on that rock. I should be the one on the ground in excruciating pain. It should have been me.

But it wasn’t.

God showed me that I was supposed to be on that cross. But I wasn’t.

I totally grasp and felt deep within my soul the sacrifice of Jesus. Jesus enduring the hurt, the pain for us. Of someone, a perfect person, receiving pain, torture, that they didn't deserve, that they took for me.



They finally stabilized Katie and put her on the stretcher to take her away. Freeing my lap and I from our duties as a pillow. I watched the ambulance speed away and broke again. Glad to be surrounded by my church family.



Everytime I think of the crucifixion, at Easter, when I see a picture of the cross, I think of Katie and remember of the ultimate sacrifice. I’m able to put it in a better perspective. To truly grasp what happened on that day so many years ago. To really feel it deep inside. To receive the Grace, and feel so truly thankful for it.

I know Katie, didn’t intentionally go out of her way to slip on the rock so I wouldn’t. However, this unfortunate accident showed me something, and taught me something that I will never forget for the rest of my life.

Polly, Katie & Me inside the Tabernacle





...to give you a future and a hope.

A lesson on HOPE.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

This verse has been there to lift my spirits so many times in life. In those times when I feel like I was going no where, when things I desired would never materialize. It reminded me that I'm in God's hands and He has a plan...a great and marvelous one at that! Hope. You can internalize it and know what it means. But when I sat here and tried to think of how to put Hope into words...I couldn't.

So...I headed over to Dictionary.com! Who offered up a beautiful definition:


n. 1.The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

So you wonder...where's the lesson? What did God show you?

Recently, after this breakup of mine (which I should have gotten over a long time ago! Ridiculous on my part...but that's neither here nor there) I started questioning if I really was worth loving. If I was good enough for anyone. (I know, silly again, I'm more than good enough...especially for Jesus! I'm perfect to Him and that's the only Man that really matters.) I have this image of this man whom I dearly love already. This man who I will spend the rest of my life with. However, sometimes I think it's just a blended version of fairytale princes from all the stories I've read, movies I've seen in my life, and this image is merely that...just a figment of my imagination. I truly lost hope for any decent guys being left in the world (no offense to you good guys).

UNTIL!!! ENTER GOD

Last weekend some friends wanted to hang out. Dinner and Bowling, sounds fun to me! The group turned out to be only 2 other guys and myself. One of the guys couldn't make it to dinner, but was going to meet us at the bowling alley. The remaining guy first made sure that I would be comfortable with just me and him at dinner and that it wouldn't be awkward for me. Which of course is cool. Much like the brotherly type. No worries.

After he let me choose where we were going to eat, Plaza Azteca!!! YUM!, he swang by and picked me up at my apartment. When we walked from the car to the restaurant, he didn't walk in front of me like he was better than me and made me run to catch up, or behind me like he didn't want to be seen with me. But right alongside me. Even the little things matter!!! He opened the door to the restaurant, when the waitress seated us he allowed me to walk first and followed after. He prayed for our meal, and that we would have good conversation. Which we did, getting to know you banter back and forth. Quite pleasant. After we paid., we walked back to the car and he opened the car door for me. THE CAR DOOR!!!! I can't remember the last time that happened. And he was simply doing this because he is a gentleman. Let me make it clear, that this was not a date in the slightest! We got to the bowling alley and met our other friend there, bowled a few games and had an absolute BLAST! After bowling and dropping our friend off we headed back to my apartment to drop me off. By now it was 9:30 and we were both pretty awake and wired. I didn't know of anything else to do. He even says, "You know I'm not trying to make you go home" haha. Again, I hadn't a clue what else to do. We pass by a Starbucks and he says "Do you drink coffee??" PAH Do I drink coffee!? PSHYA! So we decided to go to starbucks, grab a coffee, and just sit and chit chat. It was the most pleasant easy going conversation,sitting in the comfy chair of starbucks sipping coffee. When we left he again opened my car door for me, as he did everytime I got in the car. And drove me home.

So ended the best non-date ever.

That night, God showed me, that there are Godly men in this world. Respectable men, men who will treat a lady like a lady because it's the right thing to do. Not because they want something in return. Gentlemen. Gentlemen worth loving. Gentlemen worth marrying. And never will I settle for less again.

I'm so glad He reminded me, because I had almost given up hope. I rest in God's hope that the Husband I want will be had and it will turn out for the best. :)

(And I really hope if the guy this is about ever reads this, he doesn't think it's awkward!!! I APPRECIATE YOU! Thank you-I really needed that night and to be treated so nicely)

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I don't really know if I've learned a lesson. The lesson is still in the process of being learned.
But I do know, I just needed to voice..something..I don't know what.

I wrote this post many many months ago. About a guy in my church community group. Who I didn't really have eyes towards, because why would I have eyes towards someone that would probably not be interested in me?----Then the feelings started coming anyway. After hour long coffee shop talks, games of UNO, conversations in theater parking lots until all the employees left. I was starting to see this person in a whole new light. Until one night a conversation that I didn't think would ever happen...the "I 'm interested in you" conversation....which, minus all the details inbetween eventually after getting to know each other on a different level, prayer, and seeking scripture...he became "My boyfriend".

Then within the past couple days, just a couple shorts months later....he became "My ex-boyfriend"...not because of some horrible incident, or some huge indifference in our personalities, or me realizing he is someone different than I thought. I don't know.

Whatever it was. It was all me. My choice.

But I do know, I prayed about it, I sought scripture. It's what the Lord had me to do. I don't understand, why 2 months ago it was a different story. I thought the Lord was unchanging? Unless of course I'm supposed to be learning something through all this....which I am not. Or it has yet to be revealed.

I do know that he is one of the most incredible men I've met, completely selfless, a true gentleman, and I miss being withalready....but have to rest in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disasted, to give you a future and a hope.